South Korea, February 2026 - Part I

Assalamualaikum, annyeong.

It's long overdue but as promised here I am a month after my last post, writing on my recent trip to South Korea. I have been missing this place a lot lately so I figured it's time for me to relive the moment again.

it's happening! 

I remember when I screenshot this screen on my phone, it feels surreal. My first trip abroad was about to happen! I was nervous but excited at the same time. 

meet Nurina & Waiz
(they're siblings)

Took a plane from KBR to KUL T1 with them. Waiz was my primary school friend and we started to reconnect again late last year and it's my first time meeting Nurina which I was quite nervous because we were going to be roomates but it turns out so well :>

off we go :)

terbang, 

terbang tinggi 

walau tanah di kaki,

kan ku cari langit.

terbang,

terbang tinggi,

awan biru menanti,

bersama pelangi.

Upon our arrival at KLIA Terminal 1, we collected our luggage and went to pray jama' taqdim before we hopped on a free shuttle bus to Terminal 2 because our flight to South Korea is operated by Air Asia.

Have you guys watched The Amazing Race? the transition to Terminal 2 feels exactly like I was on the show lollll. With my two luggage some more I have to bring them down the escalator and hopped on the packed shuttle bus it was like a core workout because I have to guard the luggage from sliding around T.T (sape suruh bawak dua luggage rasain lo) anyways, I survived with the help of Waiz hahaha

makan first @ oriental kopi

had late lunch while also waiting for Iman (Waiz's friend from degree days) to arrive.

the unexpected group.
Waiz, Iman, me & Nurina

Narnia door. See you guys on the other side of the world.

p/s: bye!

26 on 28.

It's been so long

That I haven't seen your face

I'm tryna be strong

But the strength I have is washing away.

First thing on my mind when I tried writing again today because it has been almost a month since I last wrote here!!!!! I'm so inconsistent and I actually contemplate a lot when I don't have much stuffs to do. I think I'm more productive when I have an actual daily routine, like I strive on repetitive schedule? is it an ADHD traits? (self diagnosed btw)

Anyways, I turned 26 years old on 28 of March. Twenty six sounds serious. But I don't know if I'm taking life seriously (maybe I am). I used to, I'm capable of being responsible of my own life but when I'm at home I feel like I'm not 26, I'm 6 instead. Twenty six years old used to be so distant, at one point in life I questioned myself will I ever reached 26? Yet here I am. However, when I was younger I envisioned myself being stable at this age. I am in fact not stable (yet). hahaha. I'm getting there though. 

Time and time again life has always never failed to humble me and my plannings. Yep one can only planned. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Well, I know it's repetitive of me to say that, but what more can I do? Trust is a mindset and that's all I can do right now. Look around, look at your childhood pictures, home and hobbies. There's so much potential you carry. There's so much more of you than all those high hopes that will eventually drains you. It's okay if you are taking a little bit more time, this is life, as long as you're moving forward then there's nothing wrong with it. 

Slow down and rediscover yourself. Yep, that's going to be my 26.

do it for this kid inside you :>

p/s: smile looks good on you.

on this day, time stops forever.

Assalamualaikum and Salam Ramadan day 27 ^-^

25 Ramadan 1435.

The day abah left this dunya forever. I was fourteen years old, people would say I was too young to handle grief. But at that moment grief was not just a feeling, it was an experience I have to get through every single day supporting my mother and other younger siblings. It means I have to be an adult even before my age. I have to put away my own feelings and emotion and carried the day as though as I can. That's when I own a brown journal that I write things when I'm sad. Sharing my own emotion was not an option because others were going through a lot too, so a journal that I can let out my sadness would suffice. Little did I know it becomes a part of my personality until this day. 

Looking back through the early days, it was hard and it feels like I lived on autopilot. I made it to 12 years though at what cost? Abah could not be there for my PT3, SPM, STPM results, degree days and my convocation ceremony. That ceremony I hold my tears as far as I can knowing I would burst if I let it get to me. Thankfully I did not have time to think much. I have to drive from kel-kl on sunday for my ceremony on monday, and drove again the next day from kl-kel. But this one thought I fear most keeps lingering at the back of my head. The day that is going to be my Nikkah. I might not have anything planned but the what ifs is killing me already. Knowing abah did not get to be my wali breaks me. He's the only one I want and he would not be there? it's going to be my happiest and saddest day of my life. 

p/s: I remember I used to look at the sky a lot thinking it would fall down soon because abah has passed away and there is no way I could live, I thought the world was about to end.