12 years ago you and I

12 years ago today, we celebrated your 46th birthday together over an iftar dinner at home. 

it was the first day of Ramadan 1435 AH.

I made a special beverage for you, one of a few favourite of yours, freshly squeezed orange juice.

one last actual celebration.

but worry not.

you will always have me remember every single details of you.

even at the expense of my own sufferings.

as long as I'm allowed to have this memories.

I will keep it secured in a chest.

a treasure more precious and valuable than that of Qarun's.

wouldn't trade it for the world.

I will live this life forever yearning for you.

maybe that's one way to honour you. 

who would have thought, though...

23 days after celebrating your birthday, I'd have to add another date on my calendar.

the day I dread.

but that's a story for another day.

restarting and reflecting

Assalamualaikum

On the fourth June 2026, I received the result of my posting to be a teacher. The one experience I have also shared before in my previous post, my interview result. The dream came true moment. So here it is, the result came out and I got posted to Johor, specifically SMK Tengku Mahmud Iskandar in Tangkak. Obviously I was shocked because I applied for KL and Selangor. My thought was, it would not be that hard right to get KL or Selangor. But Allah S.W.T. got other plan for me. Johor is so far away, I have nobody else there, my friends are all in KL. I cried as the reality slowly creeping in.

بسم الله ماشاء الله

As I stepped my foot here, it is full with mixed feelings. I kind of like how it is almost like where I came from, the slow kampung life tucked away from the city, but still got everything I would possibly need. Just the loneliness without all the familiar faces. The price I have to pay. However, the people I have met so far are all so kind, helpful and warm, which got me thinking this is exactly one of the du'a I prayed for. Plus, even though I got posted in Johor, I got to be in Tangkak which is just two hours away from KL and Selangor too. Just because of one inconvenience I dismissed another goodness laid upon my eyes. How ungrateful one could be :') 

This place is going to be my home for the next few years, I hope despite every challenges I would have to encounter it's going to shape me to be the person I need to be. For sure will broaden my views of meeting people out of my actual comfort zone. And like my colleagues have told me, teaching while studying needs me to be strong. I know I could, because I know someone's stronger than me who hustles days and nights while also excels his exam <3

p/s: we're all in this together (high school musical fans wya)