who are you (2026) iykyk~

It has been ten days since my last entry. Time sure fliessss huh :0  I'm preparing for my cousin's wedding maybe that's why.

Have you watch K-drama titled Who Are You School (2015)? It's one of my all time favourite!! Even though my entry's title today is similar to the drama's but today's story is definitely not about my long lost twin or whatever. I'm just running out of ideas for the title so I figured this would do :3 anyways I'm team Lee Eun-bi & Gong Tae-kwang!!!!!!!!! #secondleadsyndrome

Actually I wanna talk about my nicknames today hahahaha hence the title. For quite a short name, for some reason I do have quite a number of nicknames lolll. Let me list them all (piya, fiya, sya, syaf, fiyy) I would say my friends fully utilize the name of Syafiya xD The nicknames depends on the group of friends, for example netball friends during primary, secondary school & STPM friends would call me piya. Degree friends call me fiya, some would also call me syaf. Alesya calls me fiyy (the only special one hehe) and at one point of life there's also a friend that called me sya during secondary school. 

I don't mind whichever any of you wants to call me hahaha. Howeverrrr, my favourite is actually Syafiya... which actually leads me to writing this story because I bumped into my primary school friend just now hahah. Well, as far as I remember, my primary school friends always addressed me as Syafiya before if I look back, even if after I met them yearsss later they would still call me Syafiya. I know I said netball friends from primary school would call me piya but it's because that's how I got the nickname hahahahaha. My netball coach actually started calling me piya, because Syafiya is obviously too long to be called while you're running across the court back and forth lol. So that's that.

So the point of this entry is, I bumped into a primary school friend just now while buying for some groceries, he was with his son and he was like "Eh, Syafiya!". It was such a short encounter but it just reminded me of my other name which is Syafiya that's barely used hahhahaha. I was like, oh right I'm Syafiya like???? dygwim.

Okay but then I'm reminded of this one nickname from primary school that has been buried hsjshadhdhjagdsh. Did you know I was once called Messi :) yes, that Lionel Messi lollllll. So the story was, some of my primary school classmates parent's used to teach at the same school with my Abah. Sometimes when there was a Family Day for the school, we'd bumped into each other (of course). And then there was once when I joined a game during the family day which requires me to dribble a ball and I won, and then the said classmate (I still remember who, his name started with A) HAHAHA I would not mention though, he started calling me Messi in class the next day -__- (classic primary school behaviour hsshshs). Basically I joined almost all the games (duhh my Abah was the pk-koku of course I live up to the name bhahaha) So that's that lol fun times.

p/s: ummm I prefer Cristiano Ronaldo :p

baking therapy? baking therapy.

Some of you might have seen enough postings of me sharing my baking therapy journey at this point :p Some might even had a taste of the freshly baked goods I have made (hope it tasted delicious and did not cause any of you guys diarrhea). Anyways, how did I even get to this point where I enjoyed baking? maybe because I simply love desserts and the intricacy of doing it. But it actually because I'm excited to see how it turns out. Will it be pretty or will it taste good or not?

If you think I am always good at baking, trust me I am not...lol

A quick history check, for the longest time, my Umi has always enjoyed baking. We had a small oven and a mixer at home ever since I was small. She would make us siblings chocolate cakes for occasions in school. Imagine this, three of us went to the same primary school, so of course we would celebrate Eid on the same day right? Yes, my Umi baked three chocolate cakes a day for us to bring to school potluck the next day! (thanks Umi <3) this is such a core memories growing up. My Umi has always been a great cook too (which I am not <yet> as interested in as baking hehe). I also went to a secondary school that my Abah teaches, and when I say during every teachers potluck his female colleagues even requested a certain dessert (triffle pudding) for my Umi to make, I am not lying hahahha (because I am the one who would bring it to the teachers' room lol).

The first time I attempted at making a dessert? I'd say during primary school when I tried making the OG Kek Batik. That weekend my whole family went back to my grandma's house in KB because my Abah had a meeting there. So to surprise him after coming back from the meeting, my sister and I tried making Kek Batik. I could recall my excitement vividly, from buying the ingredients at the nearby kedai runcit to sitting on the counter top while making it because I was not that tall yet hahaha. Fun times. 

Also, during ERT class in school when I was fifteen years old. (which was not a success lmaooo) I forgot who was my team during that time but I'm sorry for falling short T.T) Basically the theme was some kind of batter related, so my idea was to make a pancake with a chocolate syrup on top. What was my thought process during that time? (I swear I thought the batter would just be like lempeng so it will be easy HAHAHAHA) In some way it is kinda the same but not really. Anyways, I have always watched (keyword: watch) Umi made the chocolate ganache for the chocolate cake using double boil technique but I have never really tried doing it. When I tried it in class, the chocolate becomes so thick lolllll it was in fact not edible!!! Long story short it was a huge fail xD.

Then it was a burnt cheesecake using an airfryer. Tried making this after SPM days, the first KhairulAming recipe I tried (I deserve a spot at Rembayung for this fr). It tasted delicious but I did not check the center of the cake properly whether it was well cooked or not so I kinda distorted the shape hahshdhajhsahgh. I mean, I also only learned how to cook megi during this post-SPM era :3 

Overtime, I find this unexpected hobby of mine very therapeutic. Especially when I already planned which baking dish from Umi's collection I would use :p (is this the age talking.........) Anyways, the not-so-fun part would be the cleaning after, but I try to clean as I go so it will not be as overwhelming :))

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p/s: brownie white choc & classic soft cookies, buttercheese cake, kek batik indulgence, 

choc chip banana bread, matcha soft cookies & matcha burnt cheesecake.

p.s.s: cunha, bruno, cunha, bruno, cunha, bruno, luke shaw, cunha~~~~~~~~ 

up the reds!

There goes the FA Cup down the drain...lol T.T  we lose 1-2 against Brighton earlier this morning. As a fan I don't even know if this club can be saved :( but I am going to remain hopeful regardless!!!! 

That being said, let's continue our grateful series number two :)

Let's start with how I eventually become a fan of Manchester United. Growing up, I have always looked up to my Abah (al-Fatihah) so much. We were best friends. He's the best Abah ever, like he's so cool, so kind & so everything. He's the perfect father figure for me. My Abah was a Man United and football fan for the longest time. So he subscribed for a full sports packaged ever since idk the earliest Astro era? back when we could play penguin games on Astro, back when Astro ceria was at channel 24. I prolly was seven or eight at that time. (I still continue this subscription till this day because then where else could I watch those unlimited sports channel righttt. couldn't live without badminton, f1, football, hockey, sepak takraw and all those world cup, the commonwealth games etc etc) (I hate Astro though so pricey)

Aight let's get back to the point. So every game night, my Abah would let us siblings know that for example "at 10 pm Abah wants to watch united vs qpr" so on so forth. And then us sibling would stop watching cartoons and watched the game together when it hits 10 pm. That's how I got accustomed to watching football hahaha. After all those years of course I would be a fan, how could I not, right? I also have three younger brothers that my Abah bought a set of jersey each for them. Still remember the name at the back of the jerseys, Rooney, Berbatov and Owen. Good old squad. Actually I could relate to those old squad rather than these days. When I was eleven to thirteen that's when I really really try to understand the game, watching and asking my Abah why is it like that and why is it like so. Thankfully he was patient enough to answer all of my questions hahaha

Those simple moments will be forever etched in my memories, especially after the passing of Abah. Hence why those old squad feels closer to me, because that was the squad I shared my memories with Abah. When Cristiano Ronaldo was back at Old Trafford in 2021, I probably shed a lil weeee bit of tears watching that game. I imagined his reaction watching that return, but it was just me all alone. You see, me and this club, it wasn't casual lol. It's nostalgia and I'm the victim of nostalgia which leads to this pic below;

dream came true moment!! May 2025.

I have always dreamt of watching football games at the stadium. Guess what, the first one was a friendly game between Manchester United vs ASEAN All Stars. I know it wasn't even the prem or some important match but like I said, I am the victim of nostalgia and so there I was ;) To top it off, united lost that game HAHAHA full experience of being a fan of united frrrrr. anyways....that's that. Maybe my next stadium experience will be at Old Trafford who knows (please sponsor me jaebal juseyo anyone).

p/s: let me quote this song from Taylor bcs it always reminds me of myself when I'm missing my dad.

Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red

A year of gratefulness and mindfulness.

It's the year 2026. Sounds so...serious.

Have I been the same through all these years? Physically, maybe. Not mentally, no. 

Mentally I'm different now. I feel the difference especially the way I perceive things and carry myself. Thanks to the experience living six hours, hundred of kilometers away from home, I'm not afraid to accept things that comes my way. Sometimes, it is what it is even though you have to wipe your own tears while doing so. It's just a part of being strong, or so I would call, a part of being grateful.

So here I am this year, to count my blessings of the previous years to reflect the goodness behind every chapters I have gone through. One by one, I'll let myself revisits those memories be it happy or sad. To remind myself (or even all of you who are reading this) that life is not that serious, take it easy because at the end of the day I will manage. You will manage, too. Eventually. So allow yourself to weep, be happy, confused or even mad, just don't let it consume your thought and be mindful with what you are doing. Always.

I graduated in October 2024 and got my first job in July 2025. 9 months. So long, I know. I have gone through countless realization since. So, so, so many what if's during that time. 

here's 24 y/o me not knowing what life will unfold hahaha

Anyways, during that time I will go to my grandma's house during the day until my aunt's back from her workplace at around eight at night. Countless of job hunting, sometimes I attend free online courses from the government. Countless of going back and forth to KL too to attend interviews. Behind my resilience, there's my whole family's supporting without pressuring me, which I am ever so grateful. It's not always rainbows of course. At one point I lose hope too, I was tired and started to question my self worth. But that's when I started to learn how to better connect with my (our) Creator. Slowly I began to accept the 'He is the best planner' more than just a phrase. And because of that, I could never resent this phase of my life because it has surely shaped me to be a better individual today.

p/s: there's always things to be grateful of. Even in the simplest moments. :)