when life gives you lemon, make lemon cake.

 my last post here was when I was 19.

19 year-old me would never guess the life she will partake.

heck, even 25 year-old me in January would never guess it.

It is a journey that I dare say; humbling. But more importantly, full of lessons.

As I stood in darkness tonight, recalling the past encounters, of who I was, many many years ago...

So this year, I learnt to let go of the people and memories that wasn't meant to be.

which is so brave of me, because knowing myself I could never let go of those friendship even when it feels one sided. I keep them still deep in my archive. Locked. 

But I have gotten so good at accepting that not everyone are meant to stay. That it is okay to lose certain people and memories. Because the more I hold on to the rope without even being lifted, the more my hands bleed. So, I let go of the rope and bracing the fall instead. Which isn't so bad, because there's a safety platform waiting for me as I brace for impact.

This journey didn't happened overnight. And most certainly ain't easy too. 

But this year, I truly lived despite what's coming for me. I take it all in. 

I do not know where I stand right now, what stage I am in, all I want to do now is trust. Him.

Let go. Let God. As they say.